Things I Want to Ask the Pope

Dear Pope,
 
Lately I’ve been checking into what it is you actually believe about yourself. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you believe you are the only person who can talk directly to God, and there is only one God. Did I get that part right?
 
Next, I started looking at the things you say to God every day. There are well over an hour’s worth of things, and your job requires you to say them. Yah, the same things every day. Those things all fall into one of three categories. Those categories are 1) Telling God what his powers are, 2) Telling God how awesome adorable and chill he is, and 3) Asking God for favors.
 
Fine so far, and none of my business, but don’t you think God gets bored with this? He is not allowed to hear from anybody else. He doesn’t have any equals with whom he can hang out and just shoot the shit. You have been hectoring him with the same agenda for (I looked into this too) 1695 years now. Wouldn’t one assume that God already knows what his powers are, and he has sussed that you’re kissing his ass because he can get things done for you? One would like to think that God is smarter than I am, and I can figure out this much, so.
 
So I don’t know this part here. Please fill me in. When you are talking to God, do you do any listening? And if so, does he tell you he is bored, and would like to hear from some other people, and would like to bring in some more supernatural beings to play some DnD tonight, with brewskies or maybe even shots, and you can stop kissing up to him because he finds it distasteful? I’m just wondering if that’s ever something you hear. But and so IF you heard that, would you pass it along to the cardinals for their opinions? Or would you just make it happen straight off, or would you ignore it?
 
Eagerly anticipating your response,
Gretchen Williams, Santa Rosa, CA