CDC: Wash your hands again.
Me: Check.
CDC: Stop touching your face.
Me: Check.
CDC: Wear a face  mask.
Me: Check.
CDC: Disinfect all surfaces.
Me: Check.
CDC: Cancel everything and stay home.
Me: Check.
CDC: Stay six feet away from everyone.
Me: Check.
CDC: Stop kissing your cat.
Me: Aahh, if I die I die.

Drawing by Kliban

A car pulled up next to me at a stoplight. Their radio was really loud and clear. The radio announcer was saying, “Woman your car is so dirty. Why don’t you wash your dirty car. Your car is so dirty, ugh. Your car needs washing.” I looked over and that man’s car window was closed. And he was giving side-eye to me and my dirty car.